And in other news, water remains wet

Today, in a move that shocked thousands of journalists, the Roman Catholic Church chose a Pope who plans on upholding Catholic Doctrine.  Amongst his other monstrous flaws (aside from being Catholic) the new Pope is not a woman, not a homosexual, not under the age of 75, not a non-white... he even has the audacity to be a JesuitSally Quinn was reportedly hospitalized with a case of the vapors.  The nerve of some two-thousand year old organizations!

18 comments:

Texan99 said...

And not gay!

Cass said...

No, that would be the head of the Episcopal church :p

douglas said...

In all seriousness, I am pleased with his theological conservatism, but am concerned with his sympathies for social justice theory. He may be relatively moderate about it, but it makes me question his wisdom of how the world works, and how we manage (or don't) human nature in the equation of social constructs.

Texan99 said...

I'd be sorry if he turned out to be one of the "render the poor unto Caesar" types. If instead he focuses on the duty of Christians to give of their own abundance to the poor, that will be great.

Eric Blair said...

He is a Jesuit, and they know their rhetoric, so by taking the name Francis, he is making a statement about rebuilding the church, humility, poverty, and a sort of 'back to basics' agenda.

I saw a report that he rebuked priests in Argentina who would not baptize children born out of wedlock. If that's true, seems to me he gets the point of it all.

MikeD said...

Just gonna brag a moment here... I beat this trend by a few hours:
http://twitchy.com/2013/03/13/nick-kristof-shocked-pope-is-catholic-pope-francis-i-sadly-traditional-retweets-speculation-about-popes-past/

MikeD said...

But now I get all jealous and wish I wrote something more like this:
http://www.therightsphere.com/2013/03/i-agree-with-erin-burnett-about-the-catholic-church/#

Cass said...

Just gonna brag a moment here... I beat this trend by a few hours:

That's because you are Awesome!

RonF said...

I'm an Episcopalian. We have female priests (and Bishops), homosexual priests and married priests. We are loaded with people of color in the pews and in the hierarchy. We constantly get involved in political conflicts and lobbying for particular causes. We are so relevant that our denomination, once one of the mainstays of religion in America, has been hemorrhaging members for years and is a shadow of what it once was.

BTW, WTF is Ms. Quinn talking about when she says that the RCC needs to start including "people of color". The last time I consulted my PC dictionary, Hispanics were "people of color" and here in Chicago the churches are full of them - and so are the pulpits. I have sung in a few RCC churches over the last few years and I'm not sure I've been in one that DIDN'T have masses in Spanish.

Cass said...

We are so relevant that our denomination, once one of the mainstays of religion in America, has been hemorrhaging members for years and is a shadow of what it once was.

'Piskies are thick on the ground here in western Maryland. And Ms. Quinn is, not to put too fine a point on it, kind of a dimwit.

Sorry for the breach of decorum, Grim (and Mike, since it's your post). I rarely call names but...

OK, I just lost all respect for myself as a human being :p

/heading back to my corner

Eric Blair said...

I googled "Piskie" and all I got was references to Cornish pixies. Wierd.

Quinn is her white-bread suburban world and probably only sees 'people of color' on TV.

Cass said...

I was going to post a bit of snark about how Episcopalians (among whom I count myself) like their religion sprinkled with a generous amount of fairy dust. "Fairy" as in unicorns and sprites, not the 'coded language' kind of fairy.

But I didn't want to try Ron's patience, and anyway the joke is probably funny only to me.

He's right - what I love about our church is their attempts to be open minded. But there's such a thing as being so open minded that your brains fall out :p

I have a warped sense of humor about things that pain me, but over which I have no control. Sometimes you either laugh, or you cry.

Grim said...

Good call, Mike.

God bless the Pope. He'll need it, and we may need it too.

MikeD said...

What's REALLY funny about the "People of Color" comment, was that it REALLY demonstrates her ignorance. I'm sure in her mind, minority race (which, by the way, Blacks are NOT the minority race in Africa... but I digress) equals Democrat which equals Liberal. When in fact, the African RCC is MUCH more reactionary and traditional (with the exception of their push to allow priests to marry) than the European RCC. So if there were an African Pope elected, I think his stance on social issues would make their heads explode.

In many ways, it's like Prop 8 in California. Dems screamed about conservatives and the Mormon church pushing the issue, but Prop 8 passed because of Black and Latino voters, not because of some overwhelming conservative takeover. But they can't bring themselves to say a word against them because they suffer massive cognitive dissonance about the fact that there are Democrats who are conservative on social issues (and that anyone who speaks out against a minority is a de facto racist).

Texan99 said...

She probably wanted a "real" black pope.

Nicholas Darkwater said...

Those Cardinals -- will they never learn? They're stuck in that church doctrine of thousands of years, taken from the Word of God, and just won't update themselves to the truth of the moment.

I count myself among the ex-Methodists, with the traditional among them still beseiged in Texas but the rest have gone hard Left in the Pacific Northwest. I now call myself non-practicing Wesleyan among my friends, or simply a Christian when I teach my course on the history of Christianity.

DL Sly said...

"She probably wanted a 'real' black pope."

Well, in all fairness, Xerxes is still busy studiously avoiding his current *job*.
If only Benedict had held out for three more years....
0>;~}

RonF said...

Cass, I'd be honored to be addressed by you in any fashion whatsoever. The comment about being so open minded that your brain falls out is quite true. I've been on the Vestry in my parish and I was Warden for 3 years. So many people seem to think that to love someone means you accept anything they say or do. They think "doctrine" is a dirty word.