One of the senior officers in the auditorium spoke up quickly, and started to say we should not drink, eat, or smoke in front of Iraqis during Ramadan, to respect their culture. This CIA dude immediately locks eyes with this officer and asks very loudly “WHY?!”
The officer was a little caught off guard, and before he could answer the CIA guy started explaining. “You are American, you are Christian, you DO NOT celebrate Ramadan, and if you don’t carry on as an American during Ramadan it will be seen as weakness. It reinforces their idea that their god is the only true god, and that all others will bow before Islam. If they don’t offer you a drink when you come to their home, ask for one, during Ramadan!
There's something to be said for this refusal to be bound by religious conditions other than your own. Back in 2007 I drank beer at a bar cart on the streets of Zamboanga during Ramadan. The Zamboanga peninsula is a region where Islam and Catholicism are in conflict. Terrorist groups like Abu Sayyaf -- a subset of the Islamic State, these days -- were kidnapping Christians for ransom and murder. Showing that your own civilization's rules are the ones that apply to you can be important.
On the other hand, showing respect is also important for any sort of human relationships, and it can be particularly profound in establishing ties across large divides like religious differences. It could be received as submission to their god's norms and rules, or it could be received as a first offer in what could become mutual respect if it is returned. Developing terms of mutual respect on which you can live together peacefully is highly desirable in most cases.
In Egypt, I declined to tour some of the beautiful mosques because they required that I remove my shoes in order to go inside their holy building. This is a middle ground: I respect the rule enough to not violate it in their own mosque, but not enough to obey and submit to the rule, enough to just not go inside where the rule becomes an issue. That seemed fair to me.
Not being offered a drink in someone's home in Iraq, by the way, was usually a danger signal. I gather the new movie The Odyssey makes a big deal about the sacred nature of hospitality. That is a real thing, and a live issue in the Middle East to this day. If you were not offered a drink because it was Ramadan and you asked for one and were refused it, that would be even more reason to think that you'd better be on your guard in that part of the country.
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"or it could be received as a first offer in what could become mutual respect if it is returned."
But if strength is the first order of respect in that culture, then one must first exhibit that or you're likely to get no respect at all, no? Then one can make mild cultural accessions as a respect offering.
Am I incorrect?
It is interesting to note that Western Civilization somewhat turned this on it's head with deference being a primary sign of respect.
"I declined to tour some of the beautiful mosques because they required that I remove my shoes in order to go inside their holy building. This is a middle ground: I respect the rule enough to not violate it in their own mosque, but not enough to obey and submit to the rule, enough to just not go inside where the rule becomes an issue."
I've toured a bunch of mosques in Turkey, and of course removed my shoes, and my now wife covered her hair (weakly) as they require. We were there to see the architecture, so entering was fairly important to that, but still I felt no sense of diminishing myself or my faith by doing so. No different to me than if I go to someone's home and they run a shoeless home- I defer and remove my shoes.
So I'm curious why this is a point where you draw a line. The why is not clear to me, honestly.
I don’t mean to suggest that you should draw the very same line. As an architect, you have deep reasons to wish to see the structure that I do not.
For me, the point is that this was where they were demanding a personal submission from me to their rules. I’m not one of them. Islam maybe more than other faiths makes a big deal about submission; Islam arguably means submission. I won’t and don’t; that doesn’t imply ill will, but only independence.
I taught at a school for a while where most of the students were Arab Muslims. When Ramadan came around we asked about this. The local imam told us that we should just carry on as normal, not only eating and drinking but also giving the normal amount of homework. Part of Ramadan is feeling that deprivation and having to carry the load.
On the flip side, the Eastern Orthodox fast about half the year. We fast every Wednesday and Friday, for starters, then have four longer fasts each year. We're in the Dormition fast right now, then the Nativity fast is the 40 days leading up to Christmas, there's Great Lent and Holy Week, and then the Apostles fast in early summer. If the Muslims want to keep pace, I could refrain around them for Ramadan.
How strict are these fasts? At the scale of 'half the year' you would still need to be ingesting significant calories, I would think.
Instead of time-restricted eating, we fast from particular types of foods.
A full fast includes refraining from meat, fish, dairy, and alcohol. So you're eating, but it's close to being a vegan teetotaler. Alcohol in moderation is allowed on weekends, and if a feast day falls on a fast day fish is typically allowed. Shellfish fall between the cracks of meat and fish and are always allowed. These are the rules for most fast days, but the Nativity fast is more relaxed.
All that said, a good application of phronesis is also required. If the full fast affects your health, of course you make exceptions. If it's a fast day and you go visit your Protestant mother and she's made fried chicken for you, you don't turn it down. You enjoy it and pick up the fast afterwards. The non-Orthodox you interact with shouldn't even know you are fasting much less be asked to cater to it. If it's been a crazy week and you're stuck working long hours and that means a burger and fries for dinner in the middle of Lent, don't fret about it. Just pick the fast back up and try to prepare better in the future. We aren't big on guilt; it's much more of a "do your best" sort of thing.
And, as we are continually reminded, the point of fasting isn't to follow a bunch of rules, it's to become a better Christian, so don't be a worse Christian just because of some rules.
Two more things come with this. We should spend more time in prayer on fast days (the "demon's fast" is fasting from food without praying), and we should not ignore the feast days. Fasting and feasting both are part of a good Christian life. Every Paschal homily I've heard has made the point that whether we've strictly adhered to the Lenten fast or completely ignored it, we should feast at Pascha. Fasting is forbidden for all 12 days of Christmas and for Bright Week following Pascha -- these are our long feasts and joyous times.
Yeah, so, that's more than you probably ever wanted to know about it. I think the Catholic Church followed much the same practice for most of its history, though I'm not sure when or why it changed. Do you?
Fair. The Catholic branch has largely abandoned fasting; there are only two real fast days a year at this point (Ash Wednesday and Good Friday). Even those allow for one real meal each day, and two snacks.
The Lenten fast is kept by some more strictly, and fish fries are common on Fridays during that time. Many people use it to take a break from alcohol (which is a good practice, allowing you to enjoy it more the rest of the year and avoid many health hazards that attend to unbroken drinking). Nobody really starves, though.
Hm. By "Do you?" I meant to ask do you know when or why it changed. I realized that could be interpreted as "Do you fast?" which would be rude. My apologies for being unclear about that.
We don't starve, either. There's plenty of good Mediterranean food that fits, and with shrimp allowed some Cajun cooking makes its way onto the menu.
I guess one other time we fast is before communion. That is a complete fast, nothing to eat or drink, for a set time before taking communion. But it's not long enough to get very hungry, just thirsty.
Come to think of it, though, I think the Eastern Catholics may still fast the way we do. Years ago there was a Lebanese restaurant near where I worked that I went to for lunch two or three times a week. I got to know the Lebanese women who ran the place a little and they were Maronite Catholics. I always ordered beef or chicken dishes. Then Lent rolled around and I started ordering vegan dishes. The second week came and they started asking questions and I finally revealed that I was Eastern Orthodox.
To my surprise, they were fully versed in what that meant during Lent, and they already knew I was single. So, for the rest of Lent, whenever I went there for lunch, they would make up a fast-friendly dinner to go for me to take home. They would never take any payment for it either.
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