It's wonderful to know how to cook. I cook almost all my meals. It's better, healthier, and far cheaper.
But on the other hand, learning proper etiquette for a dinner -- to hold one, and to attend one -- that's Civilization 101. A substantial part of the Havamal is on that topic!
Well, I do have some rules. And if I look like a fool, it's my house, so no, I don't. My rules.
And there are vegetarian dishes to which I'm quite partial. One that comes to mind is fresh corn, still on the cob, with ample amounts of butter smeared....
Frankly, if I am a dinner guest, and they serve something I don't like, I shut up and eat at least one serving, complimenting the cook on the meal. If they serve something I cannot eat (i.e. seafood makes me nauseated) then either I eat very little or simply eat the sides. I do NOT complain or even mention it unless I'm asked. But frankly, it's no one else's job to change what they have for dinner just to satisfy me.
Now, if you have strong religious preferences -- you want to eat only halal or Kosher foods, say -- your host should take that on board. But you shouldn't mention it: you should simply live in such a way that your host will find it obvious that it is what you would want. If you don't comply with your faith's strictures on any other point, you've little right to complain if they serve you barbecued ribs.
This host is often pretty oblivious; I have no problem with someone telling me about a particularly strong dislike. The dinner, after all, is for their enjoyment as much as it is for mine. I may still serve the dish they've identified as not liking, but there'll be a suitable sub, too, especially if the thing was a main course thing.
If you don't comply with your faith's strictures on any other point, you've little right to complain if they serve you barbecued ribs.
This is a bit much for me. I don't look for purity in anyone. I have, for instance, a number of Jewish friends who are quite sincere in their beliefs, but they don't keep kosher in everything.
They don't have to: their relationship with God is their business. They just shouldn't expect you to know they won't like ribs if they don't keep kosher in other matters. If they live in such a way that it's obvious, you'd go out of your way to make them feel comfortable as your guests. But if they ordinarily go around with their heads uncovered and eat oysters on Yom Kippur, you don't have to worry too much about what you serve them at the dinner party.
14 comments:
http://ymarsakar.wordpress.com/2014/10/04/too-much-survival-in-place/
They'll need it coming the Zombie Apocalypse.
It's wonderful to know how to cook. I cook almost all my meals. It's better, healthier, and far cheaper.
But on the other hand, learning proper etiquette for a dinner -- to hold one, and to attend one -- that's Civilization 101. A substantial part of the Havamal is on that topic!
That's entirely too much formality for me; call me uncivilized.
I honor the dietary restrictions of my guests, but after that, it's my house; my rules. Which is to say there aren't many rules.
Eric Hines
The Havamal advice is mostly attuned to not getting killed, and not looking like a fool.
But as to dietary needs, there are limits to patience.
Well, I do have some rules. And if I look like a fool, it's my house, so no, I don't. My rules.
And there are vegetarian dishes to which I'm quite partial. One that comes to mind is fresh corn, still on the cob, with ample amounts of butter smeared....
Eric Hines
The vegans won't let you have the butter -- well, not without significant self-righteous whining.
Depends on the school of vegany. Some allow dairy products, so long as no goats, llamas, or prairie chickens are harmed in the harvesting.
As for the other schools, the whining is a tasty seasoning.
Eric Hines
Frankly, if I am a dinner guest, and they serve something I don't like, I shut up and eat at least one serving, complimenting the cook on the meal. If they serve something I cannot eat (i.e. seafood makes me nauseated) then either I eat very little or simply eat the sides. I do NOT complain or even mention it unless I'm asked. But frankly, it's no one else's job to change what they have for dinner just to satisfy me.
That's right, Mike. That's precisely what you ought to do.
The only excuse for mentioning dietary preferences to a host is allergies, and those only if severe.
Now, if you have strong religious preferences -- you want to eat only halal or Kosher foods, say -- your host should take that on board. But you shouldn't mention it: you should simply live in such a way that your host will find it obvious that it is what you would want. If you don't comply with your faith's strictures on any other point, you've little right to complain if they serve you barbecued ribs.
This host is often pretty oblivious; I have no problem with someone telling me about a particularly strong dislike. The dinner, after all, is for their enjoyment as much as it is for mine. I may still serve the dish they've identified as not liking, but there'll be a suitable sub, too, especially if the thing was a main course thing.
If you don't comply with your faith's strictures on any other point, you've little right to complain if they serve you barbecued ribs.
This is a bit much for me. I don't look for purity in anyone. I have, for instance, a number of Jewish friends who are quite sincere in their beliefs, but they don't keep kosher in everything.
Eric Hines
They don't have to: their relationship with God is their business. They just shouldn't expect you to know they won't like ribs if they don't keep kosher in other matters. If they live in such a way that it's obvious, you'd go out of your way to make them feel comfortable as your guests. But if they ordinarily go around with their heads uncovered and eat oysters on Yom Kippur, you don't have to worry too much about what you serve them at the dinner party.
Except out of basic courtesy. It's why I'm not put out if they tell me these things.
Especially since I'm not aware that beef ribs aren't kosher.
Eric Hines
Ah! It's very tricky, it turns out, but they can be. You have to dig a new pit that's never been used for non-Kosher cooking, among other things.
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