A Lie:
Salon magazine has a piece about a young woman who accused her father of molestation... and how she came to understand, years later, that she had lied.
Toward the end of her memoir, her father asks her, "What I really want to know is how the hell you could have thought that of me." Salon wanted to know, too. We spoke with Maran recently about how a false memory is born, what she thinks of "Courage to Heal" today, and what her story can teach us about such dangerous political narratives as the undying "Obama is Muslim" lie.
Well, of course we should explore the 'Obama is a Muslim' issue. That's obviously relevant.
Here's something that bothers me about the account.
Why write this book now?
In 2007, I was out for a walk with someone I wasn't even that close to. She asked me if I'd ever done anything I was ashamed of and had never forgiven myself for. And without hesitation I said, yeah, when I was in my 30s I accused my father of molesting me, and then I realized it wasn't true. She stopped walking and stood still, just staring at me and she said...
So what do you think she said? I was imagining the next line would be something along the lines of, "How could that possibly be true?"
But no. Here's the next line:
"The same exact thing happened to me."
Well, now. If that's true, it suggests a more dangerous matter.
Here's what bothers me most. If you'll read through to the end, though, you'll find that she believes that it is better that there should be false accusations occasionally, as long as there is an adequately hygienic purpose.
In the middle of the book, while you are still deeply in the mind-set of being molested, there's a notion you agree with that if one innocent man goes to prison, but it stops a hundred molesters, it's worth it. Do you still agree with that notion?
I'm fairly close to a man still in prison, and really believe he is innocent. I know how he's suffered. I know he's 80 years old and in ill health. He's spent 20 years in prison, for no reason. If every elementary school child is now taught how to protect themselves from sexual abuse -- and even more to the point, some father or preschool teacher who feels the urge to molest a child will be inhibited from doing so because they think there are guys still in jail for doing that -- but innocent people are in prison, do I have to make that choice? It is a Sophie's choice kind of thing. Would I allow an innocent man to sit in prison if it meant keeping children safe?
So would you make that choice?
I think so.
It's not necessary to explain how this shows that people thinking that Obama is a Muslim is good if it prevents social harm on some larger level, which would seem to be the (highly undesired by
Salon) implication of these remarks. I assume that isn't what they meant to imply, so we'll let it pass.
A more relevant issue: How are we to make sense of these claims? Those of you who remember the era will remember how outrageous some of the claims seemed. It's quite disturbing to realize that women -- not children, but 30-something women -- actually came to believe these falsehoods. These are not questions about things they've read in the press, or things they might like to believe: they are questions about their actual experience. Neither are these experiences where, you know, you might forget; I wasn't really paying close attention; I had other things on my mind.
Discuss.
