This wasn't nice

Via Ace:

8 comments:

Ymar Sakar said...

I got to get me my sword before I fall over laughing. This is hilarious. LIke that demon baby crib gadget.

Texan99 said...

It was funny, but if I'd been the one to open that elevator door, I think I'd have had heart failure. That thing skittering around at high speed is too much!

Grim said...

Brilliant!

Ymar Sakar said...

One time I was getting the mail when the neighbor's dog, that they like to keep unleashed in the back yard and somehow gets out all the time, was doing his usual patrol of the grass and street in front up and down the hill.

I didn't notice it and the dog probably didn't notice me, because it's one of the high speed ones with the slim profile like a greyhound. So I'm walking back with mail in both hands, and my practice katana slid in my belt since I was going for a practice routine, and I look up and see this dog streak running towards me. I had about half a second to figure out that I'm going to have to time it so that when he gets just about the right distance, I'm dropping the mail and then drawing the sword in a low cut. As I'm thinking this, the dog somehow does a 45 degree verve and ends up 40 feet on the other side of the street from me, then stops and looks at me. Usually it barks at me all the time because it thinks the front of my place is his territory.

Without an external tool attached, my optimal range would drop and I would have to cut it a bit closer, as my legs are needed for maneuver but also the primary contact tool against low sliding dogs.

I want to see the time slow down effect again, that was fun. Although it didn't fully activate.

A ownerless dog in the summer last year was walking around, without a pact, and living off trash can openings and other food. It wasn't afraid of being touched by the kids over next yonder, but when it saw the neighborhood's semi domesticated cat, it kept barking. So I just stood in front of it, since the cat moves so slow and doesn't try to run away like most feral ones would. The dog would bark at me a few times, get confused, then circle around to where I'm not. Then I cut across and get in front of the dog again as it tries to bark and get at the cat. It got tired from the 2nd round and went away to get some food across yonder hill. Dogs are funny.

Poor cat got chewed up by some wild dog pact she let get too close to her, though. The neighbors were pretty sad about it. That's nature for you, the big chews up the small and weak.

Although humans use a cheat. Doubt nature would ever evolve something as ridiculous as several foot lengths of steel strength fangs, sabretooth exempted. Guns are also a cheat, being the boom stick.

It's great in the dark when you see some low slinging mass that's moving around. It's very difficult to get the exact details right when it is dark. Really sets the primordial instincts afire. Instead of category "recognized, harmless" it becomes category "weird, strange, dark, death, fly, flee".

Joe said...

Who's a fuzzy spider? Who's a fuzzy wuzzy hilarious spider? Yes you are. Yes you are... Belly rub!

I am severely annoyed that I didn't think of this first.

Grim said...

Damn right. :) I'm sending this to everyone.

Texan99 said...

Loved that movie, loved that scene in particular.

Ymar Sakar said...

What does he mean by everyone?