Olympics Committee announces new gymnastics event

Mental pretzels.  What do you do when the facts contradict your models?

(1)  Create new models that find hypothetical facts hiding in the historical record, now that they can't be measured directly.

(2)  Explain that your model always allowed for the possibility that warming would plateau out; the deniers were just too dumb to see it when they looked at all those smooth, upward curves in the graphs you used to justify hugely expensive political proposals.  (The words "monotonic increase" are starting to show up in comment threads.  Only an unscientific idiot would have expected something so crass and un-nuanced as a monotonic increase.)

(3)  Dream up places the warming could be hiding, because you know it's there somewhere.  Unless it didn't come in in the first place, which is possible, but don't talk about that in front of reporters, who are always looking for the kind of simplistic prediction that is suitable for a news cycle, not to mention for supporting hugely expensive political proposals.

(4)  Explain that, as your understanding of climate increases, it becomes so complex that it's unfair to expect you to make accurate predictions.  Isn't that what always happens when your understanding deepens?  Your ability to predict results goes right down the tubes.

(5)  If all else fails, explain that greenhouse warming is obviously the strongest variable in climate, because what else could possibly explain how much warmer it is on Venus than here?

Wait, isn't Venus closer to a mysterious potential source of thermal energy?  As the soberly intense scientist says in disaster movies:  "This effect can't be explained so easily, Mr. President.  It would have to be coming from something huge -- something approximately the size of our own Sun."

6 comments:

Grim said...

You're having a lot of fun with this. :)

E Hines said...

You forgot:

(6) So, you know, just shut up.

Wait, isn't Venus closer to a mysterious potential source of thermal energy?

Actually, no, Venus isn't closer to the sun. That's just an optical illusion brought on the the brightness of the sun. If Venus actually were closer to the sun than is Earth, we wouldn't have to look away from the sun to see it--it'd be right there on top of the sun.

And we wouldn't be looking up at Venus--that's where we look to see the sun. No, to see Venus, we'd look down, if it were closer to the sun than Earth.

So, you know, (6).

Eric Hines

Nicholas Darkwater said...

While your Venus allusion may be bothersome, there is evidence that Mars and Jupiter are also experiencing warming. So yes, maybe there is a connection between the Sun and warming.

Just sayin'.

Texan99 said...

The devil you say. How are we going to blame that on mankind, let alone Republicans?

E Hines said...

The devil you say. How are we going to blame that on mankind, let alone Republicans?

Well, we do keep shooting at them.

Just like the aliens keep throwing rocks at us every 65 million years, or so.

Eric Hines

Ymar Sakar said...

All the Left has to do is to cause the Earth to warm up by destroying environmental systems. In a few decades this can be used to eliminate opposition, for the science will prove them right. For after all, they were the cause of the problems.

The Global Warming cult hasn't developed their processes nearly as well as other members of the Leftist alliance. Kind of pathetic really for evil wannabes.