Dire Need

"We Are In Dire Need Of You"

(tapping mic)

"I'd like to take a moment to call for the super-rich to bankroll us here at al Qaeda in Iraq. We are in dire need of tons of free money, for the noble effort of killing women and children driving off the infidels from the Holy Land of the Shi'ites we've been murdering.

"Our killing fields offer you an excellent place to place your investments, assuming the New York Times continues to take steps to prevent the West from tracking your investments and arresting you. If you desire to end the evils of capitalism that are why you're rich in the first place oppress our bold warriors, please come. And bring money. Lots of money."