A study on
likeability, especially in politics but with ramifications for the workplace and in general.
According to a study published in The Economic Journal, likability matters among women and among mixed-gender groups but not among men alone. In other words, women want both sexes to be likable, and men want women to be likable, but they don’t care so much about other men.... In short, women always need to be likable, and men only have to worry about it half the time....
For men, it can even pay to be unlikable. The fact that Trump is a pompous blowhard has somehow become a point in his favor. Sanders actually benefits from having the unlikable Clinton say, as she did last week, “Nobody likes him, nobody wants to work with him.” (Cleverly, Sanders shot back, “My wife likes me.”)
What he said was actually much better than that: he said, "
On a good day, my wife likes me."
I don't know if this is true or not, but maybe it is. It's hard for me to decide if my own experience is telling. Certainly I like Tulsi Gabbard, in many respects; I'm still not going to vote for her, because her opinions frequently suggest to me that she's dangerously disqualified for the position. Certainly I did not like Hillary Clinton, but I also didn't think she was qualified -- chiefly disqualified on ethics!
Perhaps it doesn't matter as much as the report suggests, since we often find ways to like people who are useful to us. Kamala Harris is well-liked by those who would vote for her, in spite of some very unlikable ethical lapses as a prosecutor and a Senator. If you were opposed to her anyway, it's easy to find something not to like; if you were inclined to support her anyway, maybe that means you'll find a way to like her.
I think perhaps the experience of Sarah Palin points that up. When she
stood on the stage and winked, the shockwave of her likability ran through the nation. But by the end of the campaign, she was one of the most disliked people in the nation. People decided to dislike her, I infer, because they were afraid she would otherwise win. And so, even as she palled around with the
Saturday Night Live crew that was mocking her, even as she offered them free babysitting (even as she said "there is much to admire about our opponent," a sentiment that it is hard to imagine hearing expressed today), they decided to despise her and worked hard at it.
It still may be unfair that women depend so much more on being liked, but if the results are right it is also women who are bringing the biggest weight on liking you (or not). Men at least give each other a break; women could do the same. Maybe men could learn to give women a break, but would women learn to give one to men? Equality is parity, is it not? (No; sometimes, but not always.)