Don't Walk "Curbside"

Every few years we see another round of stories about how progressive women really wish there was more of that chivalry stuff, whatever it might be. This year's iteration is from the New York Post, which interviews people who are similarly confused.
In a liberal city like New York, swimming with single women wishing they weren’t, one could assume Mark wouldn’t have a problem finding a mate. And while he dates and recently had a couple of short-lived relationships, Mark remains single. He’s trying to understand why.

“I’m really open-minded and cool about gender stuff on dates, but I always feel like I’m walking on eggshells,” Mark told me. “If I pay for dinner, it signals I don’t value my date as my equal so I’m super casual about it all. If she wants to pay or split it or whatever, that’s fine with me.”

I told Mark that, despite his best intentions, his egalitarian dating style could be the problem that’s holding him back. While some women balk at any hint of traditional male gender behavior, more lament the loss of chivalry. I’m one of them. I find it attractive when a man plans our first few dates and knowingly walks curbside when we’re together. It signals he wants to protect me from passing traffic or errant puddle splashes.

“When I was a kid, my mom told me to always walk curbside, but I assumed my generation of women would think it’s too old-fashioned,” Mark told me. “Now, I’m really confused.”
The 'curbside' thing was a modification of an older walking custom that is more appropriate. During the early 20th century, men adopted this 'curbside' stance as a way of presenting themselves as shields from the inevitable puddle splashes when cars came along the muddy roads that the cities often still had. It was charming at the time, but no longer is appropriate. Modern American cities (at least) have reasonable drainage except in serious storms.

Rather, you should resume the ancient fashion of always walking on the right side, whichever way the curb is. This is to keep your swordarm free, in case you need to draw a weapon in defense of the lady. With spiking crime rates in cities across the country, this is of renewed importance. (Occasionally this might be reversed for the left-handed.)

Many now choose to arm themselves with handguns instead of blades, and these days quite a few women arm themselves too. Still, if you want to present yourself as the primary protector, prepare to protect her from the far more serious (and, these days, increasingly probable) threat of violence and crime. 

6 comments:

raven said...

Rather, you should resume the ancient fashion of always walking on the right side, whichever way the curb is. This is to keep your swordarm free, in case you need to draw a weapon in defense of the lady. "

It took a little while, but my wife is used to why I do this. And why if I let go of her hand, it is not rejection but preparation to move.
Unless they are complete burned out junkies, most bad guys instantly realize we are not easy prey. In the days of sword play, my age would be a big hindrance. Old dogs can still bite. The handgun plays a great leveling role.

Grim said...

My wife has long been good about it. She's capable of being dangerous in her own right, but still is glad to have me to be her first line of defense.

douglas said...

Walking in Downtown Los Angeles just the other day (we had go to City Hall on business) I was walking with my wife, and there were a couple homeless guys on a bench- not obviously a threat, but potential for sure- so I moved to put her on my right as we walked by, because that put me between them and her. I find it hard to have a fixed policy on this anymore- too many variables.

Grim said...

Yes, obviously once a potential threat presented that was the thing to do. I’m just talking about a general rule for walking pleasantly together, mindful of duty.

Lars Walker said...

I had read that the curbside rule came from times when people used to throw the contents of their chamber pots out of their bedroom windows into the street. The trajectory of the flying excrement was more likely to land it on the one walking on the outside.

The way our cities are going today, I expect we'll need to bring this rule back.

Narr said...

Test.

I posted a long one last night, but due to setting up a gmail account (required by someone else), apparently I have to use a different way to comment and it's too long to rewrite now.

Bottom line: in potentially dangerous places I follow behind my wife at close distance, and constantly check who is around and where. In Paris in 2017 I had two occasions to realize that this is the best tactic.

Cousin Eddie