Fighting Terror with a Unicorn's Horn

Today in London, a convicted terrorist who'd been let free (albeit with a tracker on his person) attacked people on London Bridge with a knife. He was battled by a guy with a five-foot Narwhal tusk, which the fellow took off the wall at Fishmonger's Hall. Police later showed up and shot the bad guy, although presumably our hero could have done that himself if he hadn't been disarmed by his own government.

Well, and he found himself a proper tool. The Narwhal tusk was long sold in Europe by the Vikings as unicorn horns that could dispel poison. The story is an amusing one, and touches both Eiríkr Thorvaldsson, better known as 'Erik the Red,' and his son the famous Lief Erikson.

5 comments:

ymarsakar said...

I still think my swords are easier to use. Westerners think they are unrealistic and impractical, however. That's only because they haven't seen the range upgrade.

Anonymous said...

Whales have sunk ships before, a sort of warning from the Earth not to hunt whales to extinction due to the Divine backup quantum system that whales serve.

So the man using a WMD device is obviously the other terrorist, fighting the terrorist.

Cassandra said...

Never bring a knife to a narwhal fight.

Texan99 said...

I've been worrying about the implications for British public policy. Not only do they need better narwhal control, but what about the toxic masculine aggression of that citizen? Why was he not treated with Ritalin in grammar school and encouraged to wear dresses so he could explore his gentler side?

As for the authorities' inability to identify the knife-wielder in advance, I give them a pass. He had been convicted only of terrorist activities, not transphobic tweets. We may never know what motivated that young man, Usman Khan. He may have been distraught over the climate, or income inequality. How did we let him down?

Texan99 said...

https://twitchy.com/brettt-3136/2019/11/30/after-the-london-bridge-terror-attack-people-are-considering-narwhal-tusk-attachments-for-their-ar-15s/