I don't quite know what to think about this parent's story, never having raised a teenager of my own. What does ring a bell with me is the idea that you can't do the caring about school for the school-aged kid. One way or another, he has to care on his own. I liked the way this family at least negotiated a solution to the problem of his refusal to get up and out of the house on a schedule that didn't disrupt everyone else.
I don't remember school ever being optional, to the point where I simply never gave it a thought. In any case, in a million years my parents wouldn't have sat still for my turning the household on its head every morning. Though less strict than their own parents had been, they were not pushovers by any standard. They were up and out of the house before I was, and never considered it their job to make sure I got to school or even that I woke up at any particular time; if I wanted a ride instead of biking or walking, I conformed to their schedule. As an adult, I figured out how to get jobs where I could set my own hours. Alarm clocks have always been reserved for special occasions.
They raised a kid with a lifelong, almost involuntary habit of sabotaging institutional discipline whenever it's encountered. I wonder sometimes if I'll end up in a nursing home and how I'll handle it.
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The thing that troubles me about their attitude is that the kid is not their problem. He goes to school, and does what he pleases. What do you want to bet he's a disruption in class? The teachers must be at their wits end over the kid not doing any of the work the other kids do, and he can't be learning very much (other than his parents are linguine-spined pushovers). So basically, he's only going to school to be "social". So what's that mean for the other kids he's being "social" with? Think they're able to concentrate as Special Snowflake here does whatever the hell he wants? Think that's not impacting their learning experience, or even their relationships with their parents? I'll bet he gets to hear "your parents are so cool!" all the time. Because what teen WOULDN'T want permissive pushovers for authority figures?
Damn, I'm getting old.
I sort of got the impression that the school marketed itself as emphasizing only the social side of things, so they may think his behavior is just peachy.
"Nor ought we to believe that there is much difference between man and man, but to think that the superiority lies with him who is reared in the severest school."
Thucydides was at least half right about that. Some men are better than others, but a lot of that difference comes from how they were raised and how they were taught.
These parents are making life easier on themselves, but they aren't making it better for their son. They are failing their duty, and allowing him to fail his.
Last time I looked, life was full of doing things you had to and didn't really want to, and had precious little of doing things you loved- but you get what you can. That said, how anyone can think that it isn't imperative as a parent to instill in their child some sense of responsibility to themselves and to others rather than indulging your every whim, is beyond me. Politeness to your grandparents isn't exemplary, it's a bare minimum of respect.
These parents are making life easier on themselves, but they aren't making it better for their son. They are failing their duty, and allowing him to fail his.
This. All of this.
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