Even if you are inclined to take psychological therapy seriously -- especially if you are, I suppose -- you should be mindful of the dangers of excessive intake.
Imagine losing five years of contact with one of your parents and not getting contact back to make amends or work things out. A cancer diagnosis sometimes offers a runway, but a heart attack often does not.
Therapists have a lot to answer for on this one, and I have many examples, not only in individual cases, but in general attitudes spread to the public. But none of this operates in a vacuum. Oversimplified, Freud was able to sell his ideas because Vienna and Paris deeply desired to talk about sex and blame their parents. Some other sexual, parent-blaming, and highly abstract theory was likely to sweep the field. Kinsey gave the people what they wanted, just before they knew they wanted it. When people are unhappy or not succeeding, one of the possibilities is to blame someone else, and that possibility is there forever, if we choose to go there. There are a hundred variations, of things that were other people's fault but we are stuck with them, so choose ye, this day - and the next and the next. Of things we conclude were 90% our own fault, or sudden understandings that some third factor was to blame - our government, our genes, our church.
Therapists fell into this rather blindly, of wanting to be part of the subculture around them, and patients choose therapists who tell them what they want to hear. Early in my career I was in an admission interview of a recently suicidal woman who had an elaborate explanation of what was happening inside her that she had learned from a fashionably unorthodox therapist. I summarised for the team "This woman has worked very hard to find the only therapist in NH who won't do her any good."
My deep suspicion of such matters is something I try not to take too seriously, but it's harder every time I hear someone I've known for years talking about their 'trauma.' Like, I've known you your entire life: you're a (to take one example) beautiful white woman whose entire life has been one of at least relative privilege and comfort, whose family is kind and supportive, and so and and so forth. I don't doubt that there's been some difficulty; life is like that. But trauma? Sufficient trauma that it is now allowed to define your whole world, so that all of life is now about addressing and 'working on' this trauma?
There seems to be an inverse relationship to “trauma as justification/excuse” and “actual trauma survived.” Note, there are exceptions, but I’ve heard a lot more justifications based on “I once had a bad day/break up/ennui/ my parents just didn’t understand,” than on “He tracked me down when I was in hiding. Four surgeries later, plus …” or “Yeah, the IED and ambush messed me up good.”
3 comments:
Therapists have a lot to answer for on this one, and I have many examples, not only in individual cases, but in general attitudes spread to the public. But none of this operates in a vacuum. Oversimplified, Freud was able to sell his ideas because Vienna and Paris deeply desired to talk about sex and blame their parents. Some other sexual, parent-blaming, and highly abstract theory was likely to sweep the field. Kinsey gave the people what they wanted, just before they knew they wanted it.
When people are unhappy or not succeeding, one of the possibilities is to blame someone else, and that possibility is there forever, if we choose to go there. There are a hundred variations, of things that were other people's fault but we are stuck with them, so choose ye, this day - and the next and the next. Of things we conclude were 90% our own fault, or sudden understandings that some third factor was to blame - our government, our genes, our church.
Therapists fell into this rather blindly, of wanting to be part of the subculture around them, and patients choose therapists who tell them what they want to hear. Early in my career I was in an admission interview of a recently suicidal woman who had an elaborate explanation of what was happening inside her that she had learned from a fashionably unorthodox therapist. I summarised for the team "This woman has worked very hard to find the only therapist in NH who won't do her any good."
That's a great line.
My deep suspicion of such matters is something I try not to take too seriously, but it's harder every time I hear someone I've known for years talking about their 'trauma.' Like, I've known you your entire life: you're a (to take one example) beautiful white woman whose entire life has been one of at least relative privilege and comfort, whose family is kind and supportive, and so and and so forth. I don't doubt that there's been some difficulty; life is like that. But trauma? Sufficient trauma that it is now allowed to define your whole world, so that all of life is now about addressing and 'working on' this trauma?
There seems to be an inverse relationship to “trauma as justification/excuse” and “actual trauma survived.” Note, there are exceptions, but I’ve heard a lot more justifications based on “I once had a bad day/break up/ennui/ my parents just didn’t understand,” than on “He tracked me down when I was in hiding. Four surgeries later, plus …” or “Yeah, the IED and ambush messed me up good.”
LittleRed1
Post a Comment