The Performative Male curates his aesthetic in a way that he thinks might render him more likable to progressive women. He is, in short, the antithesis of the toxic man. “It’s men who are trying to cater to what they think women who are feminist like,” said Guinevere Unterbrink, 24, an art teacher who was one of the contest’s hosts.
Having known many feminists all my life, I can tell you what they want from you. They want you to be honest with them, upright in your habits, faithful in your word. It'll help if you ride a motorcycle, but only if you clearly do it because you love it.
They're just women. You don't have to bend yourself into a pretzel. Honor and honesty is what they want to see from you; if you're true to yourself and you're true to them, they'll probably make accommodations for your philosophical disagreements.
And if they won't, you'll be happier without them. As the old song says, "If you don't like me, then leave me alone."
By the way, my respects to whomever named her "Guinevere." What a fine choice.
8 comments:
I'm a feminist. No strong views about motorcycles either way. My preference is nothing really more complicated than to be treated like a person. I like men without expecting them to be like me. It's nice when people complement each other in their different strengths and weaknesses.
The other things--being upright, honest, faithful--I expect from men and women.
I know you are a feminist, as is Elise, and I believe several others.
While I have noticed that the ones I know in person seem charmed by the motorcycle, I think what they really like is my plain joy of it. It is the honesty of the pleasure I take in it, more than the thing itself. Likewise even the ones I know who think of marriage as an indefensible patriarchal institution seem to admire that I am loyal to my wife.
The performative aspects being adopted by those discussed in the article seem to me to be well down the wrong road.
I went looking for a non-paywalled version of this and found it in a Singapore-based paper. Apparently a similar contest took place in Indonesia?! It's a very strange world out there.
https://www.straitstimes.com/life/how-do-you-spot-a-performative-male-look-for-a-tote-bag
The Straits Times is a surprisingly good paper.
"Performative man" for some reason makes me think of bower birds, prairie chickens, and other species that flash their plumage and dance in hopes of attracting a female. Which is not what I would look for in a potential spouse or friend, to be honest.
The men I knew who "curated their aesthetic" didn't date women, either. Nice guys for the most part, but again, not marriage material.
LittleRed1
Yes, well, my impression of Singapore was that if they couldn't do it well, they didn't do it. Of course, that impression dates back many, many years.
Sometime today the word "metrosexual" floated into my consciousness. It sort of sounds like "Performative Male" is a new term for the same thing, enhanced by the claim that the aim is to appeal to progressive women.
...the claim that the aim is to appeal to progressive women.
Frankly, if progressive women are typified by the likes of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez or Jasmine Crockett, as good looking as they are, they have nothing that makes me want to appeal to them. Their concept of character is abhorent to me. Aesthetic curators are welcome to them.
Eric Hines
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