In What I've Learned Rescuing My Daughter from Her Transgender Fantasy, Charlie Jacobs shares how she discovered she was in a fight for her daughter as well as how she reclaimed her daughter from transgenderism. It's long and worth the read.
A quick excerpt:
My daughter was an ultrafeminine girl since birth. She insisted that her room be painted pink, and she refused to wear anything but dresses until third grade. She avoided her older brother’s toys and sports, choosing tea sets and Shopkins, a series of tiny, collectible toys.
Her favorite activity was to slip into my closet and don my few sparkly clothes and shiniest of heels. She rejected sports in favor of art and sewing.
That all abruptly changed when she turned 12. As her body matured into young womanhood, she stopped begging for a bikini and avoided any clothing that accentuated her figure. She hid her breasts under men’s extra-large sweatshirts.
I remembered doing similar things as my body changed, so I didn’t worry at first.
Then, my daughter immersed herself into anime art and cosplaying, the hobby of dressing like fantastical characters. I supported her creative side.
I didn’t know that anime and cosplaying can overwhelm a young mind. I didn’t know that anime and cosplaying involved gender-bending themes and that the community crosses into pedophilic and sexual themes.
I also didn’t know that the older cosplay community groomed the younger cohorts.
During that same time period, my daughter went through Teen Talk—a Manitoba, Canada-based program that says it provides “youth with accurate, [nonjudgmental] information” on “sexuality, reproductive health, body image, substance use awareness, mental health, issues of diversity, and anti-violence issues”—at her public school.
She came home with a whole new language. She and all her girlfriends discussed their labels—polyamorous, lesbian, pansexual. None of the five girls chose “basic,” their term for a straight girl.
Now, I was worried.
She distanced herself from her old friends and spent more time online. I checked her phone, but I was not astute enough to know that she had set up “appropriate” fake social media accounts for my viewing.
8 comments:
Clever kid.
The first self-described pansexual I ever met has recently married. She chose a very fine young man who is a performer of traditional Irish music. It may be that this fad will pass like other faddish madness, in time; it may be another way of dodging the sexual market, too (there used to be a category called 'Lesbians Until Graduation' for women who wanted to opt out of being chased during college).
Surgery and chemicals are another matter.
I'm not sure it's clever; I think it's part of the culture. Older kids teach younger kids to create fake social media.
I find the whole grooming aspect of it as, or almost as, problematic as the surgery and chemicals. That the public schools has programs pushing this, and hiding the contents of what they teach from parents, is another level of problem.
On the other hand, I hope this is right: "It may be that this fad will pass like other faddish madness, in time; it may be another way of dodging the sexual market, too ..."
I'm suspicious of the story. The ending in particular seems too clean. The children I know would not respond well to argument.
Grooming is what I worry about as well.
However, I share James's suspicion of too-neat stories.
While it's good to be skeptical, I don't see the author as having used argument all that much. Listing from the article, here is what she says she did:
- "I took the phone and stripped it of all social media—YouTube, Instagram, Discord, Reddit, Pinterest, Twitter. I even blocked her ability to get to the internet. I deleted all of her contacts and changed her phone number."
- "I sat next to her while she “attended” school online via Zoom. I deleted YouTube from the smart TVs and locked up the remotes. I took every anime book from her room. I threw away all of her costumes. I banned any friend who was even the slightest bit unsavory."
- "I involved the police about the porn. I printed out the law and informed her that if anyone sent her porn, I would not hesitate to prosecute."
- "After going through seven mental health professionals, I found an out-of-state psychiatrist who was willing to examine the causality for my daughter’s sudden trans identity."
- "I immersed myself in reading everything on the issue, talking to other parents and other professionals. I worked unceasingly to re-create the bond she and I used to share."
That's the top bit. More:
- "our family and all of the adults in my child’s life only used her birth name and corresponding pronouns. We did not permit social transition ..."
Ah, here's the whole following section:
"I forced my daughter to listen to specific podcasts on the subject while driving her to school. I printed out stories about female detransitioners (women who had medicalized, but then regretted their actions and returned to living as a woman) and left them throughout the house.
"I left all of my research out in plain view, including “Irreversible Damage: The Transgender Craze Seducing Our Daughters” by Abigail Shrier, “Gender Dysphoria: A Therapeutic Model for Working With Children, Adolescents, and Young Adults” by Susan Evans, and other books.
"I followed the advice of Parents for Ethical Care’s podcasts and the book “Desist, Detrans & Detox: Getting Your Child Out of the Gender Cult” by Maria Keffler.
"I worked hard to take back the close relationship my daughter and I had once had. I bit my tongue until it bled. I took her anger and only responded with love or walked away when I knew I would respond poorly.
"I caught her in vulnerable moments and hugged her or climbed into her bed. I stopped looking at her as though she were the victim of a scheme or a monster.
"I let her know that I would never stop fighting for her. I let her see my posters from the protests I attended. I peppered her with questions that demonstrated the illogic of the gender ideology. I happened to have funny gender-critical memes on my computer when she walked into my office. Most importantly, I held my ground. I refused to accept her delusion with compassion."
Nothing about actually trying to argue her daughter out of it. In fact, rational discussion doesn't even appear - it's all about limiting exposure to bad stuff, making sure her daughter had exposure to opposing ideas, and making sure her daughter felt loved.
Further reflection on the skepticism - I'm curious; what would you expect a successful intervention to look like?
Old humanity will yes indeedy pass as a midsummer s nightmare.
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