Apparently that's about it, now.
I pray I might die in a manner more fit for a warrior; on the highway, or by blade or gun. Yet such things are for a higher power than me to decide. Whatever comes, I shall abide; and as Lancelot said, boldly, whatever God sends shall be welcome.
20 comments:
"I pray I might die in a manner more fit for a warrior; on the highway, or by blade or gun."
Shouldn't be too much problem to increase the odds, just find some evil bastard to challenge.
Highway death is not recommended,it is mundane , gruesome and pointless.
My sister's brain aneurysm blew in her sleep almost 20 years ago. She was too young, but it sure beats cancer.
I read a book last fall -- I can't seem to remember the title just now -- in which the author reported a conversation between a fellow student and one of his old professors. The student was complaining about how bad it was that the leading cause of death was heart disease.
The professor listened thoughtfully, and then asked, "What would you prefer the leading cause of death to be?"
My grandfather is alleged to have said that he wanted to die at one hundred, shot by a jealous husband. Sadly, perhaps, he died instead of multiple strokes and heart attacks after long and tremendous suffering.
"Reports of spontaneous combustion, especially of “brandy-drinking men and women,” received serious, if skeptical, consideration "
Risks vs. benefits... Hmmm
"Whatever comes, I shall abide; and as Lancelot said, boldly, whatever God sends shall be welcome. "
Man plans, God laughs. Understanding that alone goes a long way towards aligning one's heart and mind to live as well as possible until death.
Tonight I think I'll raise a brandy to Lancelot, Grim, The Hall guests, family, and friends both here and gone... To living well!
I pray I might die in a manner more fit for a warrior....
Every man dies (didn't I hear that in a movie somewhere?). The best we can hope for is to die well after having lived well.
But maybe not die today. I still have too much stuff to do.
Eric Hines
There was a guy interviewed on the radio who's job was to clean up after death- houses, apartments, etc.- He was adamant the worst way to go was quickly, having no opportunity to say goodbye and help the family come to terms. My neighbor with two teen boys just lost her husband in a motorcycle crash. She was on a biz trip, he never came home.
Death does'nt occupy my thoughts very often, but if it comes i think it would be preferable while i was riding one of my horses ....maybe crashing through the buck brush chasing a wild cow back in Saskatchewan or tracking a bull elk in the foothills of Montana. I sure don't wish to die of boredom, some people do ya know.
What difference does it make how one dies (outside of understandable but purely selfish concerns like going fast, which is rather hard on the loved ones who never have a chance to prepare themselves or say goodbye)?
I should think it would be vastly more important how one lives.
All things considered, though from a selfish aspect I'm very much afraid of suffering, I would rather die slowly. My father in law was given 6 months to live. He lived 18 months and had time to take a trip around the world with the love of his life.
She will treasure those memories forever. His passing was still hard on her, but they had time to make our joint peace with the ending of a life and a marriage. If one can offer that to those one leaves behind, I think that's probably worth enduring some suffering.
..."they had time to make our joint peace with the ending of a life and a marriage. If one can offer that to those one leaves behind, I think that's probably worth enduring some suffering."
Absolutely.
On the other hand, one might try to live every moment together in a way such that the SO can find a way to reconciliation and peace should an end to life unexpected occur.
That said, I doubt I needed to say it, especially to a retired USMC spouse, or even the guests at The Hall. =8^}
*heads off to check the brandy stock at the hovel and the inspection tags along with the pressure gauges on the fire extinguishers*
My father, the doctor, always said that if we live long enough, eventually cancer will get us. On the other hand, whales and mammals and recently one was killed that had a 200 year old ivory harpoon in it's side. Either someone is hunting with antiques or death to cancer is not inevitable.
The best death ever: "To be shot by Clint Eastwood while Morgan Freeman narrates".
Well, that whale lived in arctic waters most of its life, so move north, and swim a lot.
Now, recently, a woman I knew from college just lost her 14 year old child to Leukemia. All in about 6 months.
You just never know.
Somehow I have always had the premonition I will die on a wooded hilltop somewhere in a desperate fight against overwhelming odds, akin to the The Battle for Ninja Hill in Clancy's Clear and Present Danger . Now that I am out of the Army and living in Alabama, which has a dearth of large hills in my area, I think the odds of that are much smaller.
All in all, having time to make final peace with my wife and family would be the best, as Cass pointed out.
What difference does it make how one dies....
You and your bud Anthony Weiner (skipping ahead to about 8:56)....
*ducking for cover because I still want to live well*
As bthun pointed out, though, better to live life as though there's no tomorrow--because there might not be.
The death will come hard to the surviving family members, in any event. Having lived through three deaths at the end of Alzheimers, though, and the sudden deaths of two older brothers, I can say that the sudden end is better from one survivor's perspective.
Eric Hines
The sudden end was easier for the family in my wife's parents' cases. Her father died peacefully in his sleep, after his morning newspaper, ten years into an enjoyable and relaxing retirement. Her mother died after six months of lingering, in conditions that were very hard on the family.
So, if you are in a case where the lingering death can allow you to make good memories and bring peace, yes, I can see the advantage. Often illness makes memories that would have better been left unmade, though: you don't wish to remember your mother the way that my mother-in-law was at the end. She had been a great lady, too. It was terrible.
There are many variables besides quickly or slowly. Young or old. painlessly or torturously (and it can align either way to quick or slow). Before or after others (spouses, children, parents). You can say one way is better, but introduce an unpleasant variable to the equation and maybe it isn't a sure thing it's the better way.
I'm sympathetic to what Raven and Cass are saying. My Uncle was just recently diagnosed with untreatable cancer and they're giving him maybe a year. That year or so will probably let him see his son marry, and it's already made a difference to his daughter, who struggles with depression. Would it be better if he died next week saving someone's life valiantly? Maybe. Probably. Would it be better if he died 25 years from now, after his wife? Maybe, probably. But these are the cards dealt. What inspires is how he's at peace with himself and his God, in the face of what's ahead.
I remember my parents talking to us about when they go, something they;ve always been open about, even more so since being in the churches grief ministry. They would tell us how they used to think about how, being so in love, they couldn't bear to think of being left behind and so wished to go first. Later, they realized that love compelled them to wish to spare the other the pain, and be willing to go first. Ultimately, what's important is how we face the inevitability of death.
As a culture, we don't do that very well anymore. People are quite insulated from death. Most could go through life never having seen even an animal slaughtered. Pretending it will never happen or hoping we'll get lucky (whatever that means) doesn't seem to be the path either.
Of course, then, faced with impending death, we go all out to fight it off, too often simply dragging out the inevitable to no gain. The more we familiarize ourselves with death, the more we will be able to see the tipping point, where it's time to stop fighting the disease, and start trying to make ourselves comfortable for what's to come. My parents have made it very clear- don't do too much, we're good with it when it comes. As a fighter, it's difficult sometimes to come to terms with that, but I have to prepare myself for that day, when those decisions have to be made.
I suppose this quote from Montaigne fits reasonably well:
To begin depriving death of it's greatest advantage over us, let us adopt a way clean contrary to that common one; let us deprive death of its strangeness, let us frequent it, let us get used to it, let us have nothing more often in mind than death... We do not know where death awaits us, so let us wait for it everywhere. To practice death is to practice freedom. A man who has learned how to die has unlearned how to be a slave.
I suppose in the end, I wish not for a particular means of death, but for a death with meaning, if I am so lucky.
douglas said... @4:35 AM
I, and in this instance I think I can speak for Walkin' Boss, agree with your parents Douglas.
To drag the mundane into this conversation, I'll say that part of facing the inevitable and reconciling your options should include the preparation of a will which states who is to be the Estate Executor and who has the durable POA. Equally important, at least IMO, is a living will which includes who will have any or final say in the decision flow chart of any if/then/else conditionals that might be encountered.
Preparation lends itself to peace of mind.
Other than committing seppuku, or similar, the rest is generally out of a person's control.
We all will die this day or those, so there is no need to worry afterwards, I don't care and live for today!
I am not making this up. Perhaps it will add something to the discussion about how we live and die.
Once, on a ferry, two guys in the next booth were talking about an old common acquaintance. As they were only two feet away, I could hardly miss the conversation. After about 5 minutes of bashing this mans character right ,left and center, one remarked, "What ever happened to Joe anyway"? The other man replied, with no trace of irony, "Oh, Joe, he died-,he got burnt to death going into a house fire to save some kids."
Sometimes words really are inadequate.
bthun, I don't think those matters mundane at all- it's important to know that things are materially squared away, and you don't want to leave loose ends that might be fought over- I've seen it in other families and vowed that I'd never let those sort of quarrels come between me and mine.
Raven- wow. You had to wonder if you were imagining things- that's just surreal. and yes, that's exactly what I mean about dying with meaning- he may have had problems, but dying in that fashion sure makes us see him in a different light, doesn't it. Just to be clear, that doesn't mean dying slowly from disease can't also be dying with meaning- Randy Pausch (The Last Lecture) comes to mind, even though I've never read it.
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