A lot of readers may not know that I am married, but I have a beautiful wife and a fine, strong son who is now a bit more than a year old. For your reading pleasure, a scene of domestic tranquility:

I decided to take a nap...


"Baby boy, quit beating on the bedroom door.� I think your father is trying to take a nap.� We don't want to disturb him."

[five minutes pass]

"OK, I need to go talk to your father for a moment--if he's still awake."

[door opens]

"Dear, are you still awake?"

[SCREEEEEEEECH! of JOY from Baby Boy at seeing his father.]

"Ah, good.� I was hoping you would be.� I need to talk to you about this grocery list.� We're just heading out the door, and I need to know if you want anything."

[five minutes later]

"OK, good, I'll get that stuff.� Now, bye.� Oh, wait.� I haven't had a shower or changed clothes or anything!� Watch the baby for me, will you?"

[twenty minutes pass]

"OK, now we're really ready to go!� Come on, baby boy!� Daddy will finally get some peace and quiet!"

[sound of family trundling down stairs]

"But you'll need a binky, won't you?� Well, I'll find one.� Don't follow me upstairs!"

[ten seconds pass]

"What did I just say?"

[more sounds of wrestling with baby]

"Now we're really going!� Daddy can get his nap!� GOODBYE DADDY!"

[sound of door slamming shut]

[ten seconds pass]


"Um, hi dear!� I don't know where I put my keys.� Could you find them and bring them down?"


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