Lawyer Killjoys

A corporate liability lawyer wonders what could possibly go wrong with Target's plan to sell 50 Shades of Gray sex toys:
“Let me get this straight. You want to sell oil candles, as in the items with an open flame and that are a common cause of house fires, especially when placed in bedrooms, and you want to instruct people to pour the melted oil onto their partners, possibly on sensitive areas.

“Furthermore, you want to sell these flaming sex toys next to blindfolds…at Target where impulse dabblers—not actual dominates and submissives, who at least have some previous knowledge and experience with bondage sex play—shop. Then, when the hyped bondage-for-amateurs movie comes out, you want to have these items available at hotels—hotels which have essentially advertised ‘Go see a bondage movie and then come to our establishment for a night while we ply you with drinks, give you implements of restraint and violence, and encourage you to get it on.’ Do I have all that correct?”

The PR team: “Yeah, basically.”


“Wow. Well, we can draft a waiver of liability for rape, but using it during a promotion that encourages customers to drink and copulate when intoxication negates consent—that’s a potential gross negligence problem. And then..."
It does sound like Target may be setting itself up for failure here, although I don't think I've ever heard of a sex toy shop being sued for gross negligence. But then, there's no point in suing a sex toy shop, because they have no money.

Target has lots of money.


E Hines said...

Any excuse for a fee. It's like the lawyers here in Texas who run their thumbs down the list of published side effects on medications and offer to help you sue if you have one of those side effects, or know someone who might have had.

Eric Hines

Tom said...

Target has lots of money.

Making it a tempting target?

Grim said...

You know that scene in Butch Cassidy? "Morons. I've got morons on my team. Nobody is going to rob us going down the mountain. We have no money going down the mountain."