A Scientific Theory of Chess

As part of an article about a major feat in Chess, an introduction to the governing body:
As the tournament began on Aug. 27, Carlsen was mired in an ongoing faceoff with FIDE, the international governing body of chess. There are a few things you should probably know about FIDE—or the Federation Internationale des Echecs, if you’re feeling continental. FIDE is, by all accounts, comically corrupt, in the vein of other fishy global sporting bodies like FIFA and the IOC. Its Russian president, Kirsan Ilyumzhinov, who has hunkered in office for nearly two decades now, was once abducted by a group of space aliens dressed in yellow costumes who transported him to a faraway star. Though I am relying here on Ilyumzhinov’s personal attestations, I have no reason to doubt him, as this is something about which he has spoken quite extensively. He is of the firm belief that chess was invented by extraterrestrials, and further “insists that there is ‘some kind of code’ in chess, evidence for which he finds in the fact that there are 64 squares on the chessboard and 64 codons in human DNA.”


Texan99 said...

I thought everyone knew that the basis for having 64 squares was an homage to an old 64th regiment whose motto (later pinched by Joseph Heller) was "2 to the Fighting 6th Power." Thus the militaristic imagery in the game.

Ymar Sakar said...

So what's his explanation for Shogi, Chinese chess, and Persian chess?