How To Tell If You Are In An Old English Poem

A practical guide.


Tom said...

Quite helpful. While most of the traits listed seem to indicate that I am not, in fact, in an old English poem, I am worried about these:

Grammatical gender is disintegrating.

You are tricked by the [Democrats], which is to say they ask politely for a more advantageous position on the battlefield and you give it to them.

Your fate is inexorable.

Roman ruins are the most existentially distressing things in the world to you.

You are doomed. Your people are doomed. Your world is doomed.

(Also, I find it humorous that the article is accompanied by an add for Olde English "800" Malt Liquor.)

Texan99 said...

I liked some of the other guides, too, such as "how to tell if you're in a Shakespearean tragedy": "Thou art dead. Thy death was probably easily avoidable."