Handmade law

Perhaps inspired by the Williams-Sonoma catalogue rant, Cassandra sent me this mission statement from an artisanal attorney.  I think I'd have been better suited to practicing law if it had been like this:
Are you tired of large corporate law firms making the same cookie cutter litigation? Do you fondly remember a time when quality mattered in law suits, when there was art and craftsmanship in every court motion filed, when company records were drafted using the traditional methods and tools? If you have become dissatisfied with mass-produced legal representation, stop by my scriveners shop; for I am an artisanal attorney.
* * *
How is an artisanal attorney different from any other attorney? Like other artisans, I pay close attention to my ingredients and process; I am intimately involved in all stages of creation. Other attorneys print their documents on paper they buy in mass-produced boxes, tens of thousands of sheets at a time, using ink that mechanically jets onto the page. I make my own paper by hand, using the traditional methods of 14th-century book publishers, who printed their works on linen and vellum. The flax for the linen grows along the sides of a nearby swimming hole, and the plants’ growth is influenced by the laughter of children in the summer, when I pick it by hand. . . .
And all the law is imported from Portugal.


Cass said...

Heh.... I loved the part about giving the cows agency :p

I think I'd have made a better judge than lawyer. It would really bother me to argue a case if I thought my client was in the wrong or didn't like him/her. It's so natural to want to take sides (at least for me) and I wasn't sure I'd be impartial enough to do a good job.

Texan99 said...

Well, it's a rare client who doesn't have at least some of the right on his side. I always thought of it as being my job to express the arguments for his position that he couldn't make persuasively for himself. That way, the judge was sure of hearing both sides. Neither side should be left mute.

I've never done criminal work, but that's how I would approach being defense counsel, too.

Cass said...

I've heard that argument many a time, and it makes sense.

I just think that on a personal level, it would bother me if the other side deserved (IMO) to prevail, but didn't b/c their attorney didn't make their case persuasively. But they had the same problem in medieval times with trials by combat - if your champion was better than the other guy's, you won regardless of the merits of the case :p

Hard to think of a system where that wouldn't be true!

FWIW, I do understand. A large part of my job involves presenting bad news to clients in a way that makes my employer look as good as possible.

Gringo said...

Artisanal attorney, at a time when the digitizing of legal information has led to downsizing in law firms. Would Luddite attorney be an appropriate description?

Texan99 said...

Now I suppose you're going to deny the cows their agency.

Cass said...

Now I suppose you're going to deny the cows their agency.

The Patriarchy strikes again :p

*running away*

Would Luddite attorney be an appropriate description?

Well, I consider myself to be something of a Luddite tech wench, so a Luddite atty makes perfect sense to me.