I do have a lot in common with toddlers, actually.
1. I spill things down my front (mostly just coffee).
2. I need WAY more naps than I actually take.
3. I like to eat things that are white. Green, not as much.
4. I firmly believe all pets love me, regardless of the growling they do as I approach.
5. Bathing is optional.
6. I sit too close to the TV.
7. Sometimes the answer you get from me is for a question you didn't ask. The question you did ask? I didn't hear you. Or I lost track and forgot what you asked. Or I rambled on about something else.
8. I'm easily distracted.
9. My stories rarely make sense.
10. I give voices to pets and stuffed animals.
Here are the ways I am NOT like a toddler.
1. I won't get angry at you when you make me go to bed. I will probably thank you.
2. Even though I love ice cream, I know it is not good to eat it on a daily basis.
3. I do not like cartoons or animation.
4. I have a hard time believing in make believe.
5. I don't need to be reminded that instead of holding my crotch to stop the flow, I can just go to the bathroom and use the toilet.
6. I won't answer a questions like "What do you want for your birthday?" with the plot of Star Wars.
7. I prefer to read books that don't have pictures.
8. I love road trips and car rides. And I won't fall asleep.
9. I understand what a "library voice" is and use it.
10. I believe in pants and the power of pants and the covering up of things by wearing the pants.