How not to apologize

If you're filming an apology to post on YouTube concerning your earlier and universally reviled post on YouTube, and your first instinct is to call it "an apology and . . .," you're probably already on the wrong track.  A real apology takes the form of an expression of genuine regret and perhaps a very brief description of how and when you came to understand that you were wrong.  Full stop.  Do not, repeat not, go on to say "I just felt compelled to act the way I did because of my strong feelings on an important cause, which I now invite you to admire, because you know, you're still very much in the wrong regarding that cause."  Even more urgently, do not take the opportunity to complain about the hate-filled responses you have received objecting to your boorish behavior, or blame others for your initial slowness in issuing your apology, or express dismay at how many people still disagree with your position, or discuss your ambitions to remain an important spokesman for the cause you have just helped to discredit.  In short, get over yourself.


Grim said...

May I add an additional suggestion? Do not think it is sufficient to film and broadcast an apology when the offense was given in person.

If you haven't got the guts to look her in the eye, slink away like the lowlife dog that you are.

bthun said...

"If you haven't got the guts to look her in the eye"


E Hines said...

I don't agree that this was an apology at all. This is a very intelligent man who knows what he's saying. He also knows what an apology is.

He said this, instead, though, and his calling it an apology is of a piece with the dishonesty he demonstrated in his initial attack on the Chick-fil-A waitress at the drive-up window.

I have to wonder, too, whether it wasn't simply posted as a square filler in order to make himself hire-able after having been terminated by Vante over his initial dishonesty.

This is not a man who can be trusted. Especially with other people's money.

It's also interesting to note the Like:Dislike ratios on both his original post and on his false apology.

bthun said...

"I don't agree that this was an apology at all."

It's not what I would consider an apology either. That said, I'll admit to being an antiquated throw-back, which means I don't grok much of what passes for acceptable these days.

Eric Blair said...

EH is right; not an apology.

Grim said...

I've seen a report now that indicates he may have gone back by in person to apologize. The young lady did not deign to receive him.

So, perhaps he is not quite as big a coward as he appears; but if she has granted no forgiveness, I see no reason why any one else should be obligated not to continue to hold the matter against him.

E Hines said...

The young lady did not deign to receive him.

I saw a similar report. I think it would have been bigger of her to receive him, but that's entirely her call. Given what he masqueraded as an apology, she probably was right not to let him spray his spittle in her direction a second time.

I'm of two minds on his cowardice. It certainly was cowardly of him originally to attack someone who could not defend herself, which status he knew before hand. Going back to apologize might have redressed that; everyone screws up sometimes.

But then there's the fact of what he actually said the second time....

Eric Hines

Grim said...

It's a simple matter, really. He set out to offend whomever he encountered, and he succeeded in offending her. She owes him nothing. Unless he should grovel so successfully as to win an audience, the matter is settled.

In any case, if he was going to ambush a defenseless woman, it was wise to do it alone in a car set for an instant getaway. If you want to talk about what would have been bigger, try him going inside the store on foot, and talking to a lady in this way there.

Gringo said...

If you want to talk about what would have been bigger, try him going inside the store on foot, and talking to a lady in this way there.

Good point. He would have gotten some immediate feedback from other patrons. Of course, he would have called that feedback "hate."

I am reminded of the juxtaposition of two slogans seen at Chick-Fil-A.
"Jesus is a C&%#."
"Legalize Love."

Cognitive dissonance, anyone?

Definitely a no-apology apology. You were so hateful you made me do it. Yeah, right.