"Exiled for the good of the realm"

I don't know about you guys, but I haven't had that much success getting useful diagnoses out of doctors, other than in really obscure cases requiring specialized tests.  No matter how many doctors roll their eyes at "Dr. Google," most diagnoses occur at home.  This flow-chart may be helpful:



It might be better to organize it differently, though.  The main thing is whether there's fever or not, but evidently fever tends to appear with a suite of other symptoms:  cough, fatigue, and prostration (but apparently not sneezing or a runny nose).  If you're in this suite, the big difference between novel coronavirus and ordinary flu is said to be a distinct shortness of breath.  Presumably this means the subjective feeling that accompanies a low pulse-ox, something I've experienced only once but won't soon forget.

If there's no fever, but you're sneezing and your nose is running, you probably have either allergies (especially if your eyes itch but your chest is OK) or a cold (especially if your chest is "uncomfortable" but your eyes don't itch).

I remain uncertain whether I've ever had the true flu.  What do you call it when there's a little fever but not a lot, some weakness but not a huge amount, and a stuffy nose that turns into a moderate cough that goes on for a week or more?  Is that what they mean by "mild chest discomfort"?  Maybe all I've ever had were common colds.  Maybe I don't need to know, since there's no useful way to treat either them or the flu, and my immune system is going to do its thing regardless of the state of my conscious knowledge.  You treat the symptoms if possible, rest, and wait it out.  This is the first time I can remember particularly needing to care, since putting what may be an ordinary seasonal cold or flu into the "coronavirus" category would mean a lot more urgency about either quarantine or--nightmare scenario--pushing the panic button and heading to an ER or ICU for respiratory support.

We're self-quarantining anyway, or at least socially isolating.  It's the only useful way I know to do my part to keep the spread down, either to "flatten curve" in order to lessen the acute strain on medical facilities, or if possible to bring R0 under 1.0 so as to contain the spread completely.

My husband has just brought my attention to a much-needed distinction made by someone called "Ciaran's Artisanal ****posting":  self-isolation is boring and clinical, suggesting that you're following the orders of a government, and a sure way for no one to notice your effort.  Being "exiled for the good of the realm," however, is mysterious and sexy and will lead everyone to wonder what you did to deserve it.