DB: Salon.Com Gives Weekend Safety Brief

This is for you, the Marine, soldier, sailor, airman, or whatever other title we give to the living tools of imperialist aggression. Look on these words and the unbearable whiteness of the page behind them and become woke to the dangers of the weekend....

If you are arrested in a military town, the police won’t respect whatever privileges you possess, be they white, male, or able-bodied. You will be treated the way the police treat young black males, and inmates will show you how it feels to be a person of color in White America every day....

We don’t want you drinking to excess because that supports white supremacy. Also when you get your haircuts, don’t comb them over to the side, because that supports white supremacy.
Turns out a lot of things do.

4 comments:

  1. Heh - I was just emailing that one around :)

    I loved this:

    You should wear a condom if you engage in sexual intercourse, but if you do so, make sure you obtain consent. However, any woman in this society of toxic masculinity cannot and should not consent to the animals who wear our country’s uniform. Much like how the military occupies peaceful nations, you service members attempt to occupy women’s bodies.

    If you do attempt to do so, admit real bodies have curves.

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  2. I love the DB, but this piece was particularly excellent.

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  3. Kind of like that parody Salon.com Twitter account (indistinguishable from the real thing!).

    Jury's out on whether that takes all the fun out of parody or makes it even better :p

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  4. There are some parodies that are getting danger close to being indistinguishable in truth. Every now and then I run across one where I just can't tell if they're serious or not. :)

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