I assume I don't need to persuade anyone here about the awfulness of this advice, but I would like to offer a counter-point. Some months ago, my priest offered the following story during his homily. He had just been to visit an old friend and fellow priest and, getting quite old himself, he asked his friend how he was doing. "I am very happy," he was told, "because I am about to achieve a lifelong goal: to die a Franciscan."
Life is short, though there are stretches when it does not seem so. But it is always falling away, and there always comes the last day when you wake up in the house you will never live in any longer. There comes the last time you will ever pick up your child, because they are just too big. There comes the last time you will ever see an old friend. And when it's over, what do you want to have to say for yourself?
Many people today seem to think that what they will want at that hour is to have a list of pleasures they've experienced. But how much finer -- is it not? -- to have kept an oath.
Absolutely.
ReplyDelete"Oh, how tragic. He wanted to visit Paris and never got there."
"Uh, He's headed for heaven. I don't think he's going to regret Paris all that much."
With such things as "bucket lists" - a possibly-innocent but worrisome lack of proper focus - as life expectancy increases, we become focused on the one life here.
I just read the article, because I was curious as to what justifications the author makes for their own lousy choices. But to my surprise, it's not advising people to have affairs, it's complaining about those who are doing so (re: Ashley Madison):
ReplyDelete"Now that you have read this, do you have any questions? I did. Here are a list of the questions, and thoughts that came to mind after reading about this company and the current security breach.
1. WTF? Is this for real?
2. No seriously, is this a real thing?
3. 37 Million people use this? Do these people have jobs?
4. If you're married, and have a job, where the hell do you find the time for a dating website?
5. I am really confused. Thirty-seven million people?
6. If life is short, shouldn't you love the one you're with? You know, the one you married?
7. Who is going to be liable for all of the murders that occur when the 37 million members information is leaked?
8. I hope John Bobbitt isn't a member.
9. I bet divorce attorneys love to advertise on this site.
10. If you're married, aren't you supposed to be monogamous? Am I thinking of something else?
11. You probably need to be really organized to cheat. I can't remember where I put my car keys. I would get caught in like five minutes.
12. Married dating is a thing? If you're married, why are you dating?
13. I am really having a difficult time with this.
14. This is the most reputable married dating company? There are more? Oh Dear Lord!
15. This website has a guarantee? How can you guarantee you will find the perfect affair partner?
16. This is a rabbit hole. I need to stop."
The author is shocked and appalled by the Ashley Madison website. Not endorsing the idea of having affairs.
That's right. "Life is short. Have an affair" is Ashley Madison's advertising slogan. It's terrible advice, though the author finds it mostly to be a 'rabbit hole' of questions rather than an easy position to rebut.
ReplyDeleteAs for her most repeated point, 37 million people isn't all that many given a nation of 300+ million with a U6 unemployment rate of 10.5%. Lots of people have plenty of time on their hands.
But that isn't the real problem with the advice.
I took the "rabbit hole" comment to mean that she felt unhinged by the fact that 37 million real people paid money to a third party to have affairs. Read her actual questions again, I think you'll find no fault with the sentiments behind them:
ReplyDelete1. WTF? Is this for real?
2. No seriously, is this a real thing?
6. If life is short, shouldn't you love the one you're with? You know, the one you married?
10. If you're married, aren't you supposed to be monogamous? Am I thinking of something else?
12. Married dating is a thing? If you're married, why are you dating?
14. This is the most reputable married dating company? There are more? Oh Dear Lord!
Not a bit of this seems to imply for me sympathy with, comfort for, or approval of having affairs in any manner whatsoever. Which is, in itself, a surprise given that it's a HuffPo article. I halfway expect that there are comments scolding the author for being so judgmental about requiring monogamy within marriage. (I don't know, because I generally have a policy against reading most comments sections on the internet)
What I mostly object to is the tone of surrender at the end. "I am also baffled at the fact that 37 million married people are members of an online dating service. I guess monogamy is a thing of the past. Perhaps we are on the verge of a new definition of marriage. Maybe instead of saying "I do" people should say, "I'll try, but when I get bored, I'll try something else." Because life is short. Have an affair."
ReplyDeleteI see, I didn't read it as surrender, more mocking exasperation. But that's the problem with the written word. Tone is impossible to determine with any certainty.
ReplyDeleteMakes perfect sense once people realize that the Left is their master and PP is their parental authority. Monogamy was only something based around exchange of equal authority and power, with some kind of enforcement mechanism.
ReplyDeleteIf the contract isn't about the two people owing each other, then they're free to engage other parties, since their ultimate master is the government. And government hasn't said anything about polygamy being bad.