This is my first without my father. I would have called him today, but not have made a big deal about it. He always snarled at those "Hallmark Holidays" that he regarded, for the most part, with disdain.
If you still have the chance, maybe make more of a big deal about it.
I have found it amusing on the receiving end. I had too many fathers growing up, none of them that great, and my wife's father was probably the best I had, though even that came well after we had been married a while. Thus I didn't like the holiday much, even when my wife tried to make a big deal of it when the boys were small and getting them to make a big deal of it. It never really took, but they usually remember to call. The one in Norway won't. He was in Romania until age 14 and didn't have the tradition. Now he is in a place where there will be no external reminders of the date. And he's a lad who will need external reminders. By the time he sees everyone else's wishes on FB it might be Tuesday.
ReplyDeleteBut I'll be at my oldest son's this afternoon, watching him bask and getting a little shared glory from his children. My newest daughter-in-law messaged me this morning and will probably remind her husband (repeatedly?) during the day to call from Alaska.
It's not the Hallmark story for Father's Days, but it's not a bad one, all in all, here 64 years later.
This was the first father's day that my Dad no longer knew who I was. His dementia progressed rapidly from onset to now, and there is simply no recognition left. My mother's dementia was a much longer fall until her death a few years back...we didn't expect my father to succumb to it at all. It hit quick, and the man I've known as Dad for 48 years is now lost in a mental fog. My own kids made the day fun, but the image of the shell of my father with no knowledge of his own 4 kids will forever spoil this day.
ReplyDeleteI will cherish the memory of past Father's Day and my siblings and I always getting dad a box of chocolate covered cherries...until at age 30 I asked why he never bought them for himself and found out he had always disliked chocolate covered cherries! Somewhere along the way my mother got the notion he liked them, which filtered down to the kids, and led to thirty-plus years of Father's Day chocolate covered cherries he had no appetite for yet feigned loving thankfulness at receiving. He was a good man, and a great dad.
My condolences to you Grim, and hearty affirmation of your last line - if you still have the chance, maybe make more of a big deal about it.
Yes, even if for no other reason than to reinforce in your children that having gratitude is right, and is essential to happiness.
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