I think Ace or someone said this was relevant to Trump's treatment of the media recently. I forget. But good advice. I've probably avoided some butt-kickings by aggressive displays of excessive optimism myself.
Son #4, who spent a couple of years in a Romanian orphanage said "Sometimes you know you're going to lose, so you just try to hurt them as much as possible so they don't do it again."
While I never got into fistfights as a child, I can absolutely vouch for the advice that girl's Dad gave her. Displaying (fake) confidence and being able to dish it out verbally kept me out of a ton of fights when we were moving every year.
It's got to be easier for a girl, but I taught my two sons to do the same and they were rarely picked on in school. So it works at least to some extent with boys, too. Never let 'em see you sweat.
I wasn't above biting if someone took bullying a little too far, but it didn't happen often. I think I grew up in a community where the taboo against fighting girls still held pretty firm. I don't actually remember much bullying or violence among the guys, though maybe they managed to keep it private. Tame neighborhood, maybe.
I had a huge fight in the first grade (oddly enough, against a bully who was targeting girls), and then nothing except playful fun fighting until High School. We fought a ton in Junior High, but it was nothing personal or mean. We just really loved to fight. You couldn't go to the bathroom without a brawl, but it was also the high point of the day. (And the female teachers, who couldn't come into the bathroom, would stand helplessly outside and yell in: "You boys better be behaving in there! Hurry up!" as they heard all the smacking and kicking.)
In High School, I had some serious encounters, all of which ended with the other guy hitting me as hard as he could, and me looking at him until he slunk away. When your best punch fails -- even sneaking up behind to give it -- you're not the top dog.
I did get into a fight once at a friend's college campus in which somebody jumped me while I was drunk, four to one with my buddy passed out and unable to help. They lost.
That was all schoolboy stuff, though. I mean, it was amusing, but it was just young bucks clashing antlers. It's not like the real thing much at all. It may be a good metaphor for the way the media clash with politicians, of course, which was the lady's intention.
And yet my young cousin's fiancee was killed recently in a fight outside a bar in New Orleans, sucker punched and apparently cracked his skull open, either with the blow, or when he fell. 29 years old, a strong young athlete. You never know.
Yeah, accidents happen. It's important to remember that they're accidents, though. We had a case in Forsyth County some years ago where a similar thing led to a guy being charged with capital murder. That requires a murder, plus an aggravating factor. The aggravating factor the DA chose was 'use of a deadly weapon,' by which he apparently meant the planet Earth (which the other guy didn't 'use' in any sense; the first guy fell down and broke his skull on a curb or something).
That sort of thing isn't even murder, properly speaking. It's just an accident. The only criminal intent was for the simple assault -- and since it was what we used to call "a fair fight," both of them were in full agreement about fighting and were equally well placed as aggressors or self-defenders.
It's a world of difference between that kind of accidental death and the sort of combat where you set out to kill someone else (as one does in war, or in what we would normally term "murder").
Yes, there are conflicting reports that some kind of trivial argument may have begun in the bar, but the guy apparently lay in wait for him in an alley outside. Then it's unclear to me whether he whanged him on the head with a weapon outside or punched him (causing him to crack open his head on a curb) or what; I don't think there were eye-witnesses, or not definitive ones, anyway. A couple saw enough from a distance, or came on him quickly enough afterwards, to get him to a hospital, though he died anyway a few weeks later. The bad guy was caught--i.d.-ed in connection with the fight inside, perhaps--and is up on murder charges. It wasn't any kind of a stand-up fight. The weird thing is that we don't normally think of someone being killed in an exchange like that, but head injuries are treacherous and unpredictable.
Son #4, who spent a couple of years in a Romanian orphanage said "Sometimes you know you're going to lose, so you just try to hurt them as much as possible so they don't do it again."
ReplyDeleteBTW, he went on to join the USMC.
While I never got into fistfights as a child, I can absolutely vouch for the advice that girl's Dad gave her. Displaying (fake) confidence and being able to dish it out verbally kept me out of a ton of fights when we were moving every year.
ReplyDeleteIt's got to be easier for a girl, but I taught my two sons to do the same and they were rarely picked on in school. So it works at least to some extent with boys, too. Never let 'em see you sweat.
ReplyDelete"While I never got into fistfights as a child,"
That's OK, Cass, I made up for you.....
I'm glad to know someone was out there, making up for my slackerdom :)
ReplyDeleteI loved that article.
ReplyDeleteI wasn't above biting if someone took bullying a little too far, but it didn't happen often. I think I grew up in a community where the taboo against fighting girls still held pretty firm. I don't actually remember much bullying or violence among the guys, though maybe they managed to keep it private. Tame neighborhood, maybe.
I had a huge fight in the first grade (oddly enough, against a bully who was targeting girls), and then nothing except playful fun fighting until High School. We fought a ton in Junior High, but it was nothing personal or mean. We just really loved to fight. You couldn't go to the bathroom without a brawl, but it was also the high point of the day. (And the female teachers, who couldn't come into the bathroom, would stand helplessly outside and yell in: "You boys better be behaving in there! Hurry up!" as they heard all the smacking and kicking.)
ReplyDeleteIn High School, I had some serious encounters, all of which ended with the other guy hitting me as hard as he could, and me looking at him until he slunk away. When your best punch fails -- even sneaking up behind to give it -- you're not the top dog.
I did get into a fight once at a friend's college campus in which somebody jumped me while I was drunk, four to one with my buddy passed out and unable to help. They lost.
That was all schoolboy stuff, though. I mean, it was amusing, but it was just young bucks clashing antlers. It's not like the real thing much at all. It may be a good metaphor for the way the media clash with politicians, of course, which was the lady's intention.
And yet my young cousin's fiancee was killed recently in a fight outside a bar in New Orleans, sucker punched and apparently cracked his skull open, either with the blow, or when he fell. 29 years old, a strong young athlete. You never know.
ReplyDeleteFiance, I should say.
ReplyDeleteYeah, accidents happen. It's important to remember that they're accidents, though. We had a case in Forsyth County some years ago where a similar thing led to a guy being charged with capital murder. That requires a murder, plus an aggravating factor. The aggravating factor the DA chose was 'use of a deadly weapon,' by which he apparently meant the planet Earth (which the other guy didn't 'use' in any sense; the first guy fell down and broke his skull on a curb or something).
ReplyDeleteThat sort of thing isn't even murder, properly speaking. It's just an accident. The only criminal intent was for the simple assault -- and since it was what we used to call "a fair fight," both of them were in full agreement about fighting and were equally well placed as aggressors or self-defenders.
It's a world of difference between that kind of accidental death and the sort of combat where you set out to kill someone else (as one does in war, or in what we would normally term "murder").
Oh, I see that I missed that this was a "sucker punch." That is plausibly a much more serious crime.
ReplyDeleteYes, there are conflicting reports that some kind of trivial argument may have begun in the bar, but the guy apparently lay in wait for him in an alley outside. Then it's unclear to me whether he whanged him on the head with a weapon outside or punched him (causing him to crack open his head on a curb) or what; I don't think there were eye-witnesses, or not definitive ones, anyway. A couple saw enough from a distance, or came on him quickly enough afterwards, to get him to a hospital, though he died anyway a few weeks later. The bad guy was caught--i.d.-ed in connection with the fight inside, perhaps--and is up on murder charges. It wasn't any kind of a stand-up fight. The weird thing is that we don't normally think of someone being killed in an exchange like that, but head injuries are treacherous and unpredictable.
ReplyDelete