This is one of those lists that gets passed around because it is heartwarming and because it is supposed to be fairly good advice. It's a surprisingly young man who has written it, if I'm reading his biography correctly!
All of you will have guessed that I'm interested in the list in part as a way of exploring the differences between sons and daughters. How many of these rules would be different if written for sons? Are there other rules you'd advise for sons but not daughters, or especially for sons, that are not on this list?
One that strikes me as an obvious choice is number 7, "She will fight with her mother. Choose sides wisely." This is not a problem with a son: you are always on his mother's side, even on those occasions when you take her aside later and persuade her to change her mind.
I added a 51st Rule: she could go on her first date when she was 30, and I'd sit on the couch between them. It was honored in the breach.
ReplyDeleteOn Rule 6, it was soccer--she was a physical mid-fielder and owned the center. I'd already taught her property rights.
On Rule 7, she fought with me, too. She was an equal opportunity pugnant.
I probably wouldn't do the pearls for my son, either, had I had one. Not even for his pistol.
Rule 15: she's the dancer. She taught swing dancing for awhile to raise money for college. I, on the other hand, not only have no sense of rhythm, I might as well have no feet, either. She tried to teach me. She failed.
There really aren't any substantive rules on the list that I'd do differently for a son--say I who never had one, and so can only speculate. Though I aim to misbehave with my grandson and granddaughter.
Except for Rule 51: that'll be as firm as it ever was.
Eric Hines
For the most part, MH has become rather proficient in the rules that apply to the VES to-date...regular sprouting of additional grey hairs, notwithstanding. We are about to embark upon the true *nailing jello to a tree* years of raising teenagers -- high school -- as she will graduate from middle school on Monday. Although, I can honestly say that I don't believe our difficulties will be as extreme as others in the family have faced (she says as she knocks wood, makes the sign of the cross and pretty much any other omen-warding sign she can think of) as the VES has grown into quite a level-headed, courteous and kind young lady. I would proud to know her even if she wasn't my child.
ReplyDeleteAs for Eric's rule 51, that's a hill I'd rather not die on in the Battle of Wills.
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My father died when I was ten but I do still remember him doing some of these, in particular riding me on his shoulders. It's one of my most treasured memories.
ReplyDeleteI added a 51st Rule: she could go on her first date when she was 30, and I'd sit on the couch between them. It was honored in the breach.
ReplyDeleteMy eldest brother's line was his daughter could start dating AFTER she was married. She said, "Won't my husband have a problem with that?" His response, "At that point, that's his problem."
I had five sons. The first of those had daughters. I'm sending this to him.
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