The school where a budding juvenile delinquent chewed his poptart into the shape of a gun and was suspended is now offering counseling for anyone traumatized by the event. As Reason.com notes:
To be fair, the phrasing leaves open the possibility that the students would be "troubled" not by the imaginary gun but by the suspension, and by the ensuing realization that they're powerless pawns in a vast, incomprehensible game run by madmen.
Where's my counseling? I'm deeply--badly, I say--traumatized that my jelly roll gun wouldn't even squirt the jelly past the edge of my plate.
Missed little Mary completely, and I'm humiliated by the failure.
During breakfast this morning, one of our students used food to make inappropriate gestures that disrupted the class.
Breakfast is a class, now? Is there no end to Michelle's influence? Apart from that, what about that government food's making rude gestures at me? That sushi flipped me off. Where's my jelly roll gun?
...the ensuing realization that they're powerless pawns in a vast, incomprehensible game run by madmen.
ReplyDeleteThat sounds like a real problem. I don't know if counseling is the right answer, but an answer is needed.
Where's my counseling? I'm deeply--badly, I say--traumatized that my jelly roll gun wouldn't even squirt the jelly past the edge of my plate.
ReplyDeleteMissed little Mary completely, and I'm humiliated by the failure.
During breakfast this morning, one of our students used food to make inappropriate gestures that disrupted the class.
Breakfast is a class, now? Is there no end to Michelle's influence? Apart from that, what about that government food's making rude gestures at me? That sushi flipped me off. Where's my jelly roll gun?
Eric Hines
Disrupting breakfast. What is civilization coming to?
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThe thing that really frightens me is that it was a strawberry Danish.
ReplyDeleteI need counseling.