Freedom of expression requires not so much the exercise of self-control in what is said as its exercise in reaction to what is said. I can hardly look at a book these days without taking offense at something that it contains, but if I smash a window in annoyance, the blame is only mine—even if the author knows perfectly well that what he wrote will offend many such as I.Or, as the Queen Latifah character said in "Living Out Loud": "My husband used to cheat on me, made me feel like I was the crazy one. One day he told me it was my fault he was cheating on me. I picked up a knife and told him it was his fault I was stabbing him. I did jail time, but it was worth it."
It's your fault I'm stabbing you
From Theodore Dalrymple, exasperation with a French imam who purports to believe in freedom of expression but blames a French magazine for the violence of protestors:
So are you endorsing the "Living Out Loud" position, provided you're willing to do the time? :)
ReplyDeleteSo are you endorsing the "Living Out Loud" position, provided you're willing to do the time? :)
ReplyDeleteWell, that is the essence of civil disobedience....
[g]
Eric Hines
More seriously, isn't the essence of Islam's (or is it Arab's?) injunction that women can't go unescorted into the company of non-familial men that on the one hand, women have no self control--or self defense capacity--and might succumb to the blandishments or assaults of those men, and on the other hand those strange men have no self control and can't help but abuse in some way those unescorted women?
ReplyDeleteIt would seem that blaming the provoker for the assault by the provokee is of a piece: it's just a further assertion that grown, adult human beings have no self control.
In fine, it's someone else's fault; I have no responsibility.
Eric Hines
I can imagine her husband thinking through, at long last, what his position would really mean if taken seriously. It's good to work these things through in humorous fiction rather than in real life.
ReplyDeleteWell, just asking. As someone recently said at the United Nations, it's always a good idea to know where the red lines are.
ReplyDeleteBut I like to keep my husband guessing where the red lines are. :-)
ReplyDeleteI had a friend a while back whose wife said if he strayed she wouldn't kill him, but she would make him wish he was dead.
That was a joke, too, of course. The friend was a client, and under pressure one of the most honorable men I've ever known. He didn't decide what to do on the ground of what would happen if he got caught.
If I thought that what kept my husband faithful was fear of my wrath, I'd have lost interest in him a long time ago. I have almost no patience with people who don't know they're in control of their own decisions and actions. So I guess I'd either forgive him or boot him, but I wouldn't hang around to stab or even torment him.
Nevertheless, it's the funny scene I always think of when someone whines that someone else made him do something wrong.
...someone whines that someone else made him do something wrong.
ReplyDeleteBut I'm not pulling the cat's tail. He's doing the pulling; I'm just hanging on.
Didn't work with my mother, either.
Eric Hines
It's a victim mentality. "I can't be responsible for what happened! I'm the victim!" The husband wanted to blame her for his philandering (fictional though it may be), then he attributes to her all the power. After all, if he had the power, it could not be anyone else's actions that controlled him. So too with the Muslim outrage. They can't be held responsible (or so they assert) for the violence they do, since they're the victim. And sadly, this is a thing I am seeing more frequently in our culture as well. "It's not MY fault I defaulted on my home that cost more than I could afford! I'm a victim of the bad economy!"
ReplyDeleteGlenn Reynolds linked to an Amherst plagiarism scancal this week, shaking his head at one faculty member's reaction: it's just so sad that the university didn't provide a safe and caring environment for a failing scholar, who then had no choice but to cheat, because she was afraid to ask for help.
ReplyDelete