Two Ways to Tell a Judge You Have No Case:
First, ask for an extension, the more pages the better. . . .
Second, write something snide, hyperbolic, condescending, or obsequious. Or all four . . . .
[This case] is the stuff of which Turow best sellers and other works of "legal fiction" are made, and by which no jurist, either de jure or de facto, would wish to be remembered, but as to which the current chapter is about to be written by the august members of this select Panel -- albeit in a strangly oxymoronic, yet altogether predictable, "unpublished" fashion the very nature of which . . . ." Castillo v. Koppes-Conway, 148 P. 3d 298 (2006).You get the point.